


it's the bomb that will bring us together

by Biscay



Category: No Offence (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 02:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9472121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biscay/pseuds/Biscay
Summary: Dinah thinks she knows why Joy's relationships with men never quite work out.





	

It's a Saturday afternoon and Dinah is in Lidl with Magda when she gets Joy's text. She has a feeling what the message might be before she even opens it, but she pulls her trolley up next to a stack of tinned vegetables out of the way to check.

[Kevin's dumped me.]

The absence of emojis is more alarming than anything else, so Dinah fires back [on my way], leaves Magda with £30, and heads straight over to Joy's flat.

Joy and Kevin haven't been going out for very long; they met at a pub across town, but she hasn't talked much about him, so Dinah assumed it wasn't very serious. Which was a stupid assumption to make, because Joy takes everything very seriously. 

Joy answers the door in her pyjamas; she's not crying, but her face is blotchy and eyes are red-rimmed.

“Come here,” Dinah says. She's wearing boots and Joy's in her slippers, so they're more or less equal in height. Joy leans into the hug and Dinah fights down anger at _fucking Kevin_ for making her best friend cry.

“Thanks for coming.”

“I'll make tea,” Dinah says, helping herself to Joy's kitchen, “you tell me what happened.”

They've had this talk several times; Dinah could set it to music by this point. Joy is pursued by a guy, always slightly surprised that such a thing could happen, and eventually relents and agrees to go out with him. They'll go on dates – drinks and dinner and cinema trips, the kind of outings she and Dinah go on together, especially when they're both single - and there's kisses and sometimes but usually not sex and eventually the guy will lose interest and either break it off or start seeing someone else on the side. Dinah especially hates when it's the latter because some of the revenge she's had to exact on Joy's behalf is definitely straying into ASBO territory. 

Viv would understand, though.

Dinah makes tea, subtly shoos Mr Mistoffelees into Joy's bedroom, and pulls up a seat at the table next to Joy. She promised herself she'd bring this up the next time one of Joy's boyfriends left her because of what Joy and repressed middle-class housewives everywhere refer to as _bedroom trouble_.

“Joy, have you considered,” Dinah thinks about how tactfully to put it, “maybe casting a wider net?”

Joy looks up from her mug, confusion on her face. 

“I mean… you've dated quite a few guys, right? Lots of different kinds of guys. And none of them have really worked out well for you.”

Tears threaten in Joy's eyes, so Dinah hurries to her point. 

“What I mean is… maybe you should consider dating women?”

It takes a few seconds for her words to sink in, and when they do Joy nearly chokes on her tea. 

“What? I'm not – there's nothing wrong with that, obviously -” Joy gestures apologetically to Dinah. The babbling is reminiscent of the time Dinah told her she'd been out for drinks and subsequently slept with a female DS in forensics. “I just, I don't think it's… me. I mean, look at me.”

“They don't all look like Tatu, you know.”

“I know that.”

Dinah holds her hands up in defeat. “Look, I'm sorry for bringing it up. I just want you to be with someone who makes you happy. And god knows nobody you've dated so far has done that.”

* * *

The spare room at Joy's isn't Dinah's, at least not in the same way that the spare room at Dinah's is Joy's, but there's enough stuff – pyjamas, towel, toothbrush – for Dinah to stay over. Tessa's staying at a friend's for the weekend, and Magda is hosting the bimonthly unofficial Polish Women of Manchester Social Group, so Dinah's not missing much at home besides gossip and unholy amounts of bigos. Joy hasn't said any more about Dinah's suggestion, and Dinah doesn't want to labour the point, so the two of them end up snuggled on the sofa, eating Chinese food and watching Friends on Netflix.

After four episodes, Joy pauses the television and turns to Dinah.

“Where do you – the general you, I didn't mean – uh, meet other -”

Dinah takes pity on her, mostly because if her arm gesticulations get any wilder she'll start knocking things over. 

“Well for starters you work in a police station; you can't swing a cat – a figurative cat, don't look at me like that – without hitting a lesbian.”

“At work?”

“Obviously there's apps and dating websites, but if your fear of meeting up with strangers you've met on the internet extends to women as well as blokes...”

“How has working in this job not put you off internet relationships?”

“How has working in this job not put you off relationships at all?” Dinah says, “besides, it's only other police that understand the hours you've got to put in here; civvies have no chance.”

“Do you have anyone in mind?”

“DCI Lickberg's taken a shine to you,” Dinah says, “I'm sure she could be your mentor in more ways than one.”

“Dinah!” Joy says, flushing scarlet. 

“Tegan stops caring which gender she's making out with after three drinks. Plus I've seen her staring at your boobs before.”

Joy crosses her arms across her front. 

“And you could see if Tatu want a third-”

“This is a terrible idea,” 

“I'm sorry,” Dinah says, catching herself, “that was a joke.”

Joy presses play and Friends resumes. “It wasn't a very good one.”

* * *

Joy is distant when, after a few more episodes, they decide to call it a night. It's a distracted rather than angry kind of silence, and Dinah isn't offended; after all, she's given her quite a lot to think about. Dinah brushes her teeth and exits the bathroom to find Joy standing right outside. 

“Christ, you scared me,”

“I'm sorry,” says Joy, swaying awkwardly in the hallway, shifting weight from one foot to another, “for being abrupt before. I just – think you might be right.”

“Joy,” Dinah says, taking her hand, “you don't need to look so sad about it.”

“I'm not sad, it's just... even if I did somehow get a girl – woman, whatever – to go out with me, what would I do? I've never – and it's so different -”

“It's not so different,” Dinah promises, but Joy doesn't look reassured.

Dinah takes a step forwards and gently cups her face. “Come here.”

Joy's wide eyes flick between Dinah's eyes and mouth for a few long seconds, before she tentatively closes the rest of the distance between them. What was meant to be a friendly, reassuring kiss, only one rung on the friend-ladder above dropping everything to check on them post-breakup, grows into something more.

Dinah's hands find themselves on Joy's hips, her neck; she can taste the mint of the toothpaste they've both used, and a noise comes from Joy that makes it clear that Dinah's idea has at least some merit.

“That was-” Dinah says minutes later, unexpectedly breathless.

“Wasn't it?” Joy is smiling, really smiling, for the first time this evening.

“Should we try again? To be sure?” Dinah says, and Joy needs no further incentive to bring their lips back together.

Minutes pass and Joy's hands begin to explore; Dinah is absolutely not complaining, but Joy senses her surprise and pulls herself back.

“We don't need to stop,” Dinah says, but Joy shakes her head, familiar coyness resurfacing. 

“Thank you,” Joy says, and Dinah nearly laughs because Joy hasn't kissed a woman before, but Dinah's never kissed someone who thanked her afterwards. “Can we – can we pick this back up tomorrow?”

Dinah can't resist pressing one last affectionate kiss to the corner of Joy's mouth. “Of course we can.” 

Joy looks giddy as she heads to her bedroom, pausing to stare back at Dinah from the doorway.

“Night, Joy,” Dinah says with a grin, “if you get lonely in the night, you know where I am.”

“Just because you were right," says Joy, with a smile to match, "doesn't mean I'll put out on the first date.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't try and place this in the canon timeline, that way lies madness. And yes, Joy dated Kevin from Scott and Bailey and he dumped her because he's shit.


End file.
